The Birth Of Love Health Om
My Enso tattoo - Duality, Surrender, Birth, Rebirth and Love Health Om
I just got my first tattoo! It’s an ensō with the Tree of Life inside of it, and I’m ecstatic!
Though I have toyed with the idea of getting a tattoo for nearly 30 years, I was never able to conclude “what?” and “where?” in a way that didn’t feel like it was just a fleeting whim.
…Until 4 years ago, when I stumbled upon this image.
At the time, I was just beginning to recover from a devastating break up. I had allowed my life to fall apart after this relationship like no other.
I would cry. I was paralyzed. I couldn’t sleep. I lost the desire to do anything. I was angry and replaying scenes and conversations in my head as if to negotiate with reality, “But, NO, this can NOT be happening…!”
While I was busy negotiating with reality, life was happening. Practical things like piles of laundry to be folded, homework checks with the kids, and renewing my website hosting…
OUCH
Yes, I “awoke” from my breakup grief to all the forgotten, neglected, drought ridden, lifeless parts of my life that I thought, somehow, would still be there when I was “ready”. Once I had let go of enough grief, and accepted some shred of reality, I set out to reclaim that zest, skip in my step and enthusiasm to rebuild! I scheduled time to return to the most basic of activities that give structure to my life and purpose: blogging.
With intent and hope in my heart, I returned to life, flipped open my laptop cover and clicked on my Wordpress bookmarked page to log in to my site.
Site? Wait…what? Where was my site? Clearly I typed it in wrong…right? No, it was a bookmark. Try again. Nothing.
No problem! I figured I would just call Go Daddy and all would be restored to normal. I’ve worked myself out of the most unlikely situations before, and I’ll just do it again.
The call with Go Daddy didn’t take long. “Oh Ms. Horton, your hosting wasn’t renewed”
“Ok, let’s renew it”
“Sure, let me help with that….oh well, it’s been over 30 days.”
“Yes, that might be. I’ve been pretty busy [puncturing my soul over a break up]”
“I can’t renew it now. It’s too late”
“What do you mean ‘too late’? “
“We have a policy, and if you don’t renew in 30 days, the code is erased.”
“WHAT? What happened to my code???”
“I’m sorry. It’s erased. It is our policy when the hosting is not renewed In time. It’s $299 if it’s less than 30 days, but it’s over that now.”
THEY ERASED MY CODE?!?!
I sank into the chair at that Starbucks in a dichotomy of disbelief and complete surrender. There was no fight. There was no remaining solution.
There was only the shift to acceptance.
It is a curious thing what happens when you surrender. Instead of the fear of wallowing in your sorrow or pain, and not knowing what to do next, it’s the exact opposite. Doors fly open, new perspective arises, and energy rushes in. My mind heeded the call.
“I get it. This wasn’t my ‘forever’ path. The Universe is pointing me in a new direction.”
Without delay, I began to think of what would be next with an even greater open mind. But I struggled with identifying one thing to BE and DO. No, no, no, no, no….why one thing? I’m not mono-dimensional.
I am multi-dimensional.
I can chose whatever the fuck I want! In fact, I can chose ALL the things that I love!
This tripped the tide that led me to Love Health Om. These are the 3 conversations that deeply, immediately, and unequivocally rivet my soul: love, health and spirituality.
So what does this have to do with my tattoo?
4 years ago when this process began and I stumbled upon this image, I fell in love with the beauty, but even more with its meaning. I immediately thought “If ever get a tattoo, this is it!” At the time, I had no intention to make the image my logo, but after trying and failing with other designs, it occurred to me….this embodies the essence of Love Health Om.
The ensō captivated my heart when I read about its significance. It is a sacred symbol of the spirit in Zen teachings that may also be referred to as an Infinity Circle, Circle of Enlightenment or the Lost Symbol of Reiki. When painted, it is done in a single brush stroke, and a single breath upon the exhale of the artist. The choice of black is illuminating as well, for black is not the absence of color, but the result when you marry all colors as one.
However, what really etched itself on my soul is the abundance of dualistic meanings the ensō contains...
· Perfection and imperfection
· Form and the void
· Presence and absence
· Fullness and emptiness
· Boundaries and openness
· Beginning and ending
· Complexity and simplicity
· Inclusive and exclusive
· Inner world and outer world
· Visible and invisible
· Simple and profound
· Continuity and irregularity
· Action and stillness
Beyond the contemplative two sided meanings in such simple form, the ensō compels both the painter and the student to meditate upon the state of heart and mind at the moment of its creation. The ensō reveals harmony, completion, simplicity, fullness in the void, the cyclical nature of all things, and the interconnectedness of all of life.
I fell in love with the ensō and all it’s sagacious meaning.
On a personal level, the ensō reminded me of the turbulent ride I had just hitched, the rising and falling of my emotions, and ultimately the riptide that carried me to surrender to both what I could not change and what I could change. I meditate upon the ensō with awe at the perfection of its incompleteness, its ever changing form as the brush strokes lose paint, and the simplicity of a single color choice – black.
I didn’t know it at the time, but the ensō would continue to stake its welcome residence and occupy my contemplation for years to come. I often find myself deliberating on the trials and meaning in my life from this dynamic, ever-flowing perspective.
Today, the ensō is the central symbol in Love Health Om because we are dynamic, ever-flowing beings taking on this grand expedition called “life”. I welcome you to the journey with me, and wish you the most exalting joy, unwavering community and internal peace to grace the mountains and valleys of life.
